Traveling with a Toddler

Recently I had to take a trip up to Ft. Lewis for a medical appointment. Since the Army was paying for my ticket we decided it would be a good idea to have Frank and Ava go with me since we would only have to pay for his.  The thought of flying with my 18 month old gives me anxiety. So many things could go wrong and I knew I would have to have the patience of a saint.

Ava's current obsession is horses. So we decided to buy a mini iPad so that we could download pictures of horses and various apps to keep her entertained.  This was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life!  We downloaded a horse racing game that entertained her the entire game. She kept saying "go, go, go" and "yay" when they would cross the finish line.  She was so adorable and precious.

Another purchase we made for the trip was a hiking carrier for Ava.  She has outgrown baby carriers and there was no way that I was going to have her running around at the airport.  The carrier was amazing! She was so easy to handle and she didn't mind being in it. It turned into a seat as well so we were able to put her down when we needed to.

After all of the preparation she did pretty well. The one difficult part for me was that she is in a mommy stage and would not let Frank hold her. So I had to have her on my lap the entire flight. And she would not sit still! She kept moving like she does in her sleep. I have bruises on my legs from her digging her heels into me.  I had no idea that I could be as patient as I was during this trip. Normally, I would become overwhelmed and would need a break, but I couldn't get that without Ava freaking out. I would take a deep breath and think about the person I want to be in this situation; patient, understanding, happy, grateful. Taking a moment to be grateful helped me out a lot during the clingy periods.

Day of travel I tried to dress Ava as cute as possible so that if she flipped out then at least she would be cute enough it get away with it. She kept saying hi and waving her hand at the other passengers. The only outburst we had was she kicked the seat in front of us twice. The guy gave me a stern look and I'm thinking "At least she's not screaming at the top of her lungs." Oh and she also threw a cracker and 5 binkies. Having all of those backup binkies was amazing. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to binkies falling on the floor and putting it back in your mouth, but not at the airport aka germ central.

Overall I think it was successful trip with limited tantrums and surprisingly awesome communication between me and Frank. We both know that traveling is stressful so we tried really hard not to get frustrated. We also were very clear and detailed whenever a situation arose. Like when going through security, I was tasked with Ava and the red backpack. Frank was tasked with the carrier, diaper bag, and holding our tickets. Coming out of security I was responsible for getting her shoes on and her into the carrier and he was to get all the bags back in order. Also, whenever we disagreed with each other one of us, yes me too, would give in and just go with the flow. Nothing is important enough to argue about when you are traveling. It's just not worth it and your trip will go a lot smoother without the tension. 

Tips:

• If you can get approved for pre-check TSA I would highly recommend it. You don't have to take off your shoes, you can have any amount of liquid for the kids, and you do not have to take out computers. Trust me the less you have to juggle with the better. It reminded me of the good ol' days before the world got crazy. 

• Diaper bag: separate everything into large zip-lock bags. Diapers, snacks, toys, spare clothes.  That way you only have to search for the bag and not dig through a whole bunch of stuff to find that one magical thing that will stop your kid from screaming. It just makes life easier. 

• Snacks: we packed Ava's favorite snacks. Right now she is being picky so we had a variety for her to choose from. It is also important to have your own snacks too. We had cashews, cheez-its, and sun flower seeds. You have to take care of yourself. You don't want to have low blood sugar while traveling with a toddler. Then end result might involve child protective services!

• Play time: on the way to Seattle we found an empty gate near ours and let Ava run around. We played hide and seek and also chased her around. We tried to get her to expend as much energy as possible. On the way back home the Seattle airport had a play area and it was amazing. We had two hours and she stayed in there the entire time. 

• Communication: be very clear on your intent when speaking with your partner. Sometimes you will ask your partner to do something and they question it. Instead of snapping "can't you just do it" I would explain myself. "I would like you to stay here with Ava so I can talk to the airline without disruption." Realize that by being clear does not mean that you will get your way. He also has needs. Frank might say ok or he would say that he would like to talk to the airline because he needs a break from Ava. As much as I would have liked to be the one to talk to the airline I would go with the flow and let him do it. It is not that important who does it, but it is important to be aware that you are in this together and that everyone's needs are being met. 

Bottom line is that you need to go into it knowing it's going to be complete chaos.  You have to make the conscious decision that you will laugh at everything that comes your way.  Having fun is way more important than things going smoothly.  If you have this attitude it will change your life.  Trust me, I know.